A woman drove me to drink, and I'll be a son-of-a-gun but I never even wrote to thank her.

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.

Never mind what I told you--you do as I tell you.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.

Start every day with a smile and get it over with.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy, it's only a question of degree.


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When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them.Confucius